Common Sense, dead? Never!!!!

So I’m checking Chirp’s blog and there is this email forward she got:

Obituary
Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

I don’t agree with most of that forward.

Six-year old charged with sexual harassment: He wasn’t charged legally, he was suspended from school. They probably should have given him detention, not suspension. but so what? His parents should have taught him what was appropriate touching and what wasn’t. I doubt anything would have happened to him if it didn’t bother the kid that was kissed (that’s what defines sexual harrassment- its unwanted). So its okay to suspended a kid for hitting another kid and making them cry but not okay to suspend them for kissing a kid and making them cry?Suspension so he’ll learn his lesson sounds pretty fair to me… Sounds like common sense to me. Protect the children = common sense.
I dunno about the mouthwash thing. But I’m guessing that it contained alcohol – usually not tolerated at schools. The teens should have known better. If I was caught with half empty bottle of ‘cologneyat jackson’ and said I was just perfuming up after gym, I think its plausible that they’d assume I was getting trashed on it.

Teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student. You mean the teacher that ductaped a chatty girl’s mouth? I doubt the teacher just said “Your being very disruptive. Please be quite”. We send our kids to school to be educated not ‘disciplined’. Its a parents job to discipline children, not teachers- even if the parents don’t, teachers still shouldn’t. If parents want teachers to have that power they should sign a waiver at the beginning of every school year. Teachers teaching and parents parenting = common sense

Parental consent to administer chemicals that could have potential side effects makes sense to me. Alot of people are allergic to Asprin – my brother is. Aspirin can also cause a serious and sometimes fatal condition called Reye’s syndrome in children. Also, all SPFs are essentially chemicals. And alot of people have latex allergies that can be triggered by plasters. I think I should have the right to decide what drugs and chemicals are put into my children – they are my spawn. Making medical decisions for your children makes sense to me. As long as your decision doesn’t endanger your child’s health that is.

As for not telling parents if their children are pregnant – Now here is where you need to use real common sense. Let’s say Jassim (AKA daddy) is told that his 13 year old daughter Sabeecha is pregnant. What does common sense tell you will happen? Let’s take a second to think…. hmmmmmm……. Just a wild guess: he’s going to beat her within a millimeter of her life. And then eat the fetus alive (yummy!). Don’t believe me? Ask your brother/father/guyfriend what he would do. It might not result in murder or cannibalism but I guarantee its going to involve violence. If the girl isn’t beaten, then the baby daddy who knocked her up is going to get knocked out. Its common sense.

“Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband”

This line is just plain insulting. It infers that sense and decency come from relegion. I don’t need some etchings from Moses to know what’s good and sensible. Common sense, as its name reveals, is common- most everybody has it. Jew or otherwise. Just because I don’t want some religious script thrown in my face every which way I go doesn’t mean I’ve no common sense.

And what do you mean “as churches became businesses”? They’ve always been businesses. Even worse, they’ve always been centers of political agendas. The true base of spirituality is not a church, it is the heart. (Wow, that’s some deep Hallmark shit I just came up with – Lifetime Channel here I come!)

The burglar thing: Anbody can file a civil suit against you for anything in the US. The ridiculous suits – like the burglar one – end up getting dropped. Its good that they don’t limit the complaints of the people (burglars are people too!). If they did then the judicial system and precedents would never progress. The fact that people can make legal cases that are not mainstream is one of the reasons why the US has one of the most developed and continually progressing legal systems in the world. You make a case, if its stupid it’ll get dropped. If you have a case it can ago all the way up to the supreme court and possibly change the law. Awesome!

Hot coffee: You could look at it as the woman ‘failed to realized that a cup of coffee was hot’ and was awarded a huge settlement. I look at it as a woman spilled hot coffee on herself and noticed that there was a deficiency in beverage labeling laws. As a result of her discovery and her pursuit to improve labeling laws, she was awarded a large sum of money. If I ever meet that woman I wouldn’t go “Stupid bitch with no common sense!” I’d say “You go girl! All this time, nobody has had enough sense to make beverage companies warn us that their products could be dangerously hot, and you made money offa it! Lucky bitch!” Coffee’s hot? That’s hot!

And what’s wrong with knowing my rights? You want to strip me of them? And sometimes, I am a victim, but I’m a victim who wants to become a survivor. And without laws and right set to protect me I’m always going to be just a victim.

And so: I’m not going to attend Common Sense’s funeral because he’s not dead. I’m afraid you’ve misidentified the corpse. A time when sexual harassment was fine, when you couldn’t speak up for fear of being ridiculed for having no sense: That’s Retardation. Common Sense and Retardation aren’t even related.

Rejoice! Common Sense isn’t dead, he’s alive and well. He’s just had a facelift and some lipo that’s why you may have had some trouble recognizing him. See, just like everything else in this world Common Sense has progressed with the times, you should too.