Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

Okay, so alot of you have been wondering: ‘Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego the Prophet of Random?’

I’m random, hence the name. I do unexpected things like prolonged absences from blogging.

Actually, there’s a little more to it than randomness. Actually, there’s ALOT more to it than that.

First, an update on work:

And so finally, I am proud and ecstatic to announce that I have finally submitted my long overdue resignation. That’s right! I did it! Now, I’m sure you want to know which straw finally broke the camel’s back. Those of you that have been following my story from the beginning know that I have gone through some ridiculous shit ranging from officelessness to battles with tea-boys . The reason I initially stayed in this hellhole was to get ‘experience’ that I could use on my CV and grad apps. I quickly realized that the ‘experience’ was not worth the maskhara that dominates this evil place. But then I had to stick around some more because of parental pressure. Alot of shitty things have continued to happen here. For example, HR has taken it upon themselves to only count 2 of my sick days (even though I’m entitled to a MINIMUM of 6 days a year- its government policy). They are counting everything else as extra annual leave and they are deducting my salary.

And they call Jews greedy and evil. If there’s any people that should go through a holocaust, it should be HR people.

Anyway, that isn’t even the worst of it. Now, in the beginning, there was darkness. God said ‘Let there be light’. And there was. Also, in the beginning I was hired by my boss to be an officer (the detailed 411) only to find out that unlike God in the Genesis everything my boss says never ever happens. I thought that with his written promise that the whole Job Title issue was resolved (411) . After that, I started to get really sick and was absent from work alot and so I kindly offered to submit my resignation from this dead-end job. But instead, upon my boss’ suggestion, I decided to take leave instead (and then return if I felt better). And so I left for about a month (and HR is making me literally paying for it). So I come back and this place is as bad as ever- things like getting kicked out of the office I was in. But even worse, I discover that I’m still a trainee (Jesus Christ Monkey Balls is right Batman!)

That’s all old news. The new part is:

I tell my boss that I’m still a trainee and he says “Just find the confirmation request we sent HR and resend it”. It’s an HR issue (according to him. Which is complete bullshit because the decision is his. If he says confirm me as the new Baby Jesus, they have to do it. So anyway, I find out that the reason I was never officially confirmed as an officer is because my boss declined to fill out grade parameter paperwork because he was banking on me leaving. Warning: Rant Ahead WTF? First, if I was going to leave suddenly, I would have done it straight after I took the long leave you suggested. Second, what difference does it make to you what my title is? I’m not asking for anymore money or a grade increase. I’m going to be doing exactly the same shit for the same pay. Just give me the title. End of Rant Anyway, he wanted to play it like he didn’t know what was going on. He decided to send me on an HR expedition with the hopes that I would eventually just get frustrated with their incompetence and drop the whole issue.

You wanna play it like that? Fine, let’s play.

So I started sending polite yet assertive emails to people in HR. Of course they ignored me at first. But I kept emailing them, atleast one email every day. Eventually, I started emailing the GM of HR. And I would Cc my boss every email I sent to HR.

The kept on ignoring and ignoring me. Until, one day, more than a week later: I come in the morning and I’m talking to the secretary, when my boss comes in to greet me with his thick Indian accent: “You’re such an angry girl, sending all of those angry emails. But don’t worry dear, I sent an email.”

At this point I’m thinking “Okay, finally, some progress.”

I go to my PC and check my email. First I find, an email from the GM of HR which basically states ‘ You’re still a trainee and that the job title is changed when a decision is sent by management (as it is solely a management issue) ‘.

Okay, I didn’t expect much from the HR. I’m surprised they even know how to type.

Then comes the email from my boss, which approximately states:

‘I don’t know to what Job Title promises you are referring. There is no position for you here in this department. This issue is governed by HR policy’

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

One is blaming the other. You’d  think they’d atleast get their stories straight.

Anyway, I could have easily responded to both of them with a beautiful email that would have chopped their blatant lies into shreds. I could have easily pointed out to the GM of HR that: Management has decided and sent you their signed and dated decision to change my job title, its that little letter you got sent from Management that said CHANGE THE JOB TITLE.

And to the best of bosses I could have sent: “Oh, you don’t know what promise I’m referring to? Let’s disregard all the verbal promises you made starting the day you interviewed me for the position you still have not officially assigned me. Please find attached the job title change request you sent to HR. But it’s okay if you don’t want to consider that a written promise, you can consider it a legally binding document that can be used in court.

I could have done that. But I didn’t. I was done trying to reason with the unreasonable. I was done talking and emailing in an attempt to get what I was supposed to have from day one in this cursed shithole. Like Elvis said, now was a time for ” little less conversation and a little more action”.

That’s when I decided that I was going to submit my resignation. I had the complete intention of submitting a resignation that would obliterate this entire institution. The resignation was going to be complete with dates and supporting documentation that demonstrates the true maskhara that happens here. a resignation that would completely

But, alas, and of course, my father stopped me from unleashing the full extent of my wrath. Instead, he seriously toned down the language and content of my resignation letter. And soon thereafter, I submitted my resignation to my unithead (didn’t bother with my boss) and I sent a copy to HR.

My boss got so pissed (HAHAHAHA!). Of course he didn’t talk to me (he still hasn’t-its almost been 2 weeks). I was surprised that it pissed him off so much. I didn’t even mention his name in my resignation. I basically said ‘I was promised this position. It’s been a year. It hasn’t happened. Thank you. Adios putas.”

But as it turns out his ‘management style’ is already under scrutiny and the nature and timing of my resignation just made it worse.

Serves him right. I won’t say I wish him bad things. I’ll just say:

I hope the world brings upon him the same type of kindness and generosity that he has shown me.

He has fooled people into trying to get me to change my mind about my resignation. They tell me things like, (and I reply and I think):

1. Hey, its nothing personal. He’s been struggling with corporate politics, and you just got caught in the middle.
   Once, something is done to me, whatever the motivation/reasons behind it, its personal. My suffering as a result of his issues with others is unacceptable.
   Me suffer for him? I must’ve missed something here. Am I supposed sit and suffer because of somebody else’s actions? Ohhhhhhh….. I’m sorry, you’ve mistaken me for somebody else. Your Lord and Savior- Jesus Christ is in the next cubicle.

2. You know, you shouldn’t burn bridges. If you wanted to resign it should have been a plain (no cause stated) resignation. You shouldn’t have submitted such an inflammatory letter.
   What’s happened to me here is unacceptable and a plain resignation for this situation will not do. This letter is nothing compared to what it should be.
   Are you kidding me? After what I went through, I shouldn’t burn bridges? I was about to burn down this entire building. Bridges is nothing, bitch. Now, shut up with that nonsense and go thank God that I’ve put my childhood pyromania behind me.

3. You shouldn’t quit. I struggled alot in my career too but I made it. *long monologue about going from janitor to pencilpusher*
   I am impressed by your inner strength. I admire that you have the determination to persevere in the face of hardships until you reach your goals. But everybody has a reason to endure mistreatment. The reason could be economic, personal, whatever. But there’s always a reason. You did it for xxxxx reason. I personally, don’t need the money or anything. I was here to gain some experience, which I didn’t even get. In fact there is not one single reason exists for my being here. Simply put, I neither want this nor need this.
   Hello, we are talking about me. I don’t care about the kind of torture you put yourself through to get to this position (that you complain about every day btw). Just because you were willing to subject yourself to whatever mistreatment, doesn’t mean I will. I’m no sadist, thank you very much. What made you even think I want to be anything like you? In fact, your ‘made for Lifetime’ career struggle has just reaffirmed my decision to leave and never return!
   
4. So what job are you leaving for?
   I haven’t anything lined up at the moment. I can get a job, like this, anytime. But I don’t want a job, I want a career. If there’s anything being here has taught me its that I need to be sure about the position I commit myself to. I’m waiting for the right opportunity.
   I’m not looking for a job. The crap that I’ve gone through here is making me seriously contemplate opening up my own business . In fact, Id rather to be unemployed and completely broke than work here. There is no secret factor (like a better job) that’s motivating me to leave. The fact that I completely and utterly hate it here is motivation enough.

5. Allah iywafgitch inshalla
   Thanks
   Mafrooth itgoolen ‘ajma3een’
   Yeah, thanks.

Note: I actually like most of my coworkers. They are very well intentioned for the most part. They just say the wrong things sometimes.

Anyway you guys, I gtg. Its 4.10 pm. I’ve stayed one hour over just for you!

Tomorrow, we are going to talk the declining status of my health and what it means for the Resurrection of Random. Stay tuned!

PS:I submitted my resignation but it isn’t effective until the first week of next month.

PPS: Only after working here have I truly been able to appreciate things like Dilbert and The Office. It’s like I’m working at Dunder Mifflin.