Meow
February 19, 2008
I’ve always had little sound effects that come out of me unexpectedly. For a while it was the yoshi yell “awawawawa”. Then it became “3abut”. Now, I meow. It’s becoming a problem because people find it strange that I meow when I fall down. The other day I meowed at a waitress to get her attention for the cheque. I don’t mean to do it. It just happens. Its my way of saying ‘Oi’ or ‘Ow’. I really have to change it. It’s not that big a deal when nobody knows what you’re saying. But meowing is pretty recognizable.
Anyway, meowing is the least of my problems. My job still sucks balls. And to make it worse HR is screwing me over in terms of my leave and I can’t say anything about it in fear of retribution. I’m seriously contemplating quitting, even if it means sitting at home. I thought that I could push through another year of this shit, but I’m reconsidering that now. Should I really suffer through this kind of crap just so I can put it on some stupid MBA application? An MBA I’m not even sure I want…
I need some clarity. Fooled by my optimism I thought that, with time, clarity would come on its on. I was told (by an adamant fan of ‘The Secret’) that, if I was positive and patient, the universe would bring me everything I want. Shrouded by desperation I felt the need to believe. So I did, reluctantly, for a while.
But as a hopeless realist, ‘belief’ and ‘faith’ doesn’t come easily to me. In a world where millions kill in the name of ‘faith’, my realism protects me from the wolves dressed in Sheppard’s clothes who herd desperate sheep to slaughter. Usually, my realism reflects my bravery. I’m brave enough to believe in ideas that are unconventional, even blasphemous. But the things I trust in make sense. They don’t require ignorance of fact.
But my realism that pushes me to reject believing in the goodness of the universe comes from fear. I’m afraid that I’m just wasting my time. I’m afraid that its not going to work. I’m afraid that I’m being stupid. If you believe in something that might be untrue because you need to does that make you stupid? Brave? Or just desperate?
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Enough with the deep philosophical questions and on with the links!
Featherless chicken?
Monkey Fluids : A comic- kind of
This is soooooooo my next x-mas desktop wallpaper!
